69. Why Mums Are Always the Backup Plan (And How to Change It) [Part 1]

Ever tried to have an uninterrupted shower, only to have Fight Club break out in your house the second you close the door? Meanwhile, your partner somehow gets their coffee, their phone time, their 35 minute toilet morning routine - completely untouched?If you’ve ever thought:Why am I the only one absorbing the chaos?Why does everyone else’s needs seem to matter more than mine?Why does it feel like I have to do everything while being “grateful” for the occasional break?🚨 THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU 🚨We’re jumping into:The real reason neurodivergent mums are expected to be endlessly flexible (while others get protected time).Why the mental load isn’t just about chores - it’s about who carries the unpredictable stress of a household.How this imbalance fuels burnout, resentment, and exhaustion (and why so many of us have just stopped asking for change).The masking, guilt, and gendered expectations that keep us stuck.✨ PLUS: I’ve created A Kit for Recognising & Shifting the Mental Load to help you start shifting the mental load - without feeling like it’s just one more thing on your plate. Get it here. RESOURCES MENTIONED:The Second Shift StudyADHD Pre-Diagnosis WorkbookNot sure where to start? Start here: https://adhdmums.com.au/start-here Blog post on this topicJOIN THE COMMUNITY:Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!FOLLOW FOR MORE:Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTubeLEAVE A REVIEW:Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.COLLABS:For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES:Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.Topics Covered in This EpisodeADHD mums, mental load, gendered mental load, default parent, invisible workload, emotional labor, cognitive load, burnout, neurodivergent mums, ADHD relationships, ADHD parenting, autistic mums, executive dysfunction, masking, overstimulation, mom burnout, ADHD and motherhood, relationship imbalance, household responsibilities, parenting mental load, ADHD overwhelm, time management ADHD, ADHD partner, neurodivergent families, ADHD routines, ADHD executive function, sensory overload, ADHD life hacks, ADHD productivity, gender roles, equality in parenting, ADHD coping strategies.Mentioned in this episode:ADHD Pre-Diagnosis Workbook: A Guide for Women and MothersWondering if it’s ADHD or mum life? The ADHD Pre-Diagnosis Workbook is your survival guide, helping you untangle your thoughts and explore ADHD traits - perfect for those curious about self-diagnosis or preparing for an assessment. ADHD Pre-Diagnosis WorbookSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.