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ADHD Mums

ADHD Mums

Welcome to The ADHD MUMS Podcast, a lifeline for Australian mums navigating ADHD and motherhood. Perfect for struggling, burnt out mums who want to drop perfectionism.

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14 min
Yesterday

12. QUICK RESET: I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing

If you’ve ever found yourself raging over a sock battle, losing it over a tantrum, or feeling shame after snapping at your child — this episode will meet you right there. It’s not just that your child is being ‘difficult’. It’s that their big feelings might be waking up parts of you that were never allowed to exist. This Quick Reset unpacks the link between parenting rage and trauma stored in the body. We explore the concept of mirrored trauma — when your child expresses the exact emotions you were taught to suppress. If you were the “good girl” who never acted out, your child’s raw honesty can feel confronting. Even triggering. But you’re not failing — you’re feeling. And there are ways to recognise it, reset, and shift the shame. ✨ In This Episode, We Cover: – Why you might feel rage at small things (like socks or dinner refusal)– What’s really happening when your child ‘won’t comply’– How ‘good girl conditioning’ can collide with your child’s emotional honesty– The neuroscience of mirrored trauma– Self-check-ins for performance parenting– Why your child’s defiance isn’t disobedience — it’s a dysregulated nervous system– What to do when you feel the heat rising– Real, honest stories from parenting in the trenches– Reframing the “problem child” as a mirror of your own healing 💭 This episode is for you if: You’ve ever wondered “Why do I lose it at the tiniest things?” You feel like your child’s behaviour lights up something way bigger than the momentYou want to break generational patterns — but also feel pushed to the edge 🔗 Resources & Links:• Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group• More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop 🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing. SCHOOL MINI SERIES: S1 E41: Camouflaging ADHD + Autistic Traits in Girls with Millie Carr | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E2: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E3: SCHOOL SERIES - Burnout Starts in the Classroom — And Follows Them Home | Spotify | Apple Podcast 🎧 Listen NowIf you’ve ever left a meeting wondering what just happened – or held back tears while playing nice just to get a referral – this one’s for you. Hit play. Share it with a friend who’s fighting the same fight. 🧠 TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:mirrored trauma, ADHD mums, neurodivergent parenting, good girl conditioning, parenting rage, ADHD parenting, sensory kids, emotional honesty, shutdown, intergenerational trauma, gentle parenting realities, meltdown support, breaking cycles, neuroaffirming parenting, trauma-informed parenting, ADHD mum life, performance parenting, co-regulation, reparenting yourself, parenting and trauma.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

12. QUICK RESET: I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing
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47 min
Monday

11. SCHOOL SERIES: Reducing Stress Behaviours in the Classroom: Connection, Co-Regulation & Neuro-Aware Teaching

If you’ve ever been told your child is ‘defiant’, ‘rude’, or ‘lazy’—this episode is for you. Tania Waring is back to unpack how stress behaviours are misread as misbehaviour in classrooms. Drawing on her PhD research into co-regulation and inclusive education, Tania explains what’s really going on for ADHD and autistic students—and why the classroom itself can fuel or relieve their distress. We talk about why behaviour systems like marbles-in-the-jar and Dojo points don’t work for neurodivergent kids, and how regulation starts with the adult in the room. We cover practical ways teachers (and parents) can co-regulate, build trust, and support children in distress without punishing them for brain-based struggles. This episode is honest, emotional, and full of tools for both home and school. If you’ve ever felt alone advocating for your child—or if you’re a teacher desperate for something that actually works—this conversation will validate what you already know and help you name it out loud. 📚 Mentioned in this episode: Berry Street Education Model Social Stencil neurodiversity-affirming SEL Mental Health Menu (Victoria DET) Books: The Neurodiverse Classroom – Victoria Honeybourne Creating Trauma-Informed, Strengths-Based Classrooms – Tom Brunzell Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools – Emily Kircher-Morris The Whole-Brain Child – Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson Universal Design for Learning (UDL) Guidelines Resources Mentioned: 🔗 To find out more about Millie Carr or purchase her books please click on her website or check out her IG 🔗 Sign our Change Petition here 🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here 🎧 Listener Questions please send here 🔗 Free Guides and Resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/ Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD) 👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au 📚 References & Further Reading Disability Standards for Education 2005Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government Disability Discrimination Act 1992View the full legislation on the Federal Register JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: ADHD classroom behaviour, neurodivergent students school, ADHD school meltdown, trauma-informed teaching ADHD, co-regulation in education, stress behaviour vs misbehaviour, neurodiversity affirming strategies, inclusive education ADHD, autism shutdown at school, ADHD advocacy, classroom behaviour systems, Dojo points criticism, emotional regulation in school, ADHD support for teachers, Berry Street model, Universal Design for Learning ADHD, strength-based education, emotional safety in classrooms, behaviour as communication, ADHD discipline alternatives, neurodivergent parenting, supporting ADHD kids in school, autistic school experience, ADHD overwhelm school, masking and meltdown cycle, ADHD parenting, ADHD and school trauma.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

11. SCHOOL SERIES: Reducing Stress Behaviours in the Classroom: Connection, Co-Regulation & Neuro-Aware Teaching
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9 min
11 Jun

10. QUICK RESET: Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?

If you can’t sit still even when nothing’s wrong...If you're checking your emails like a debt collector is chasing you...If your heart races during peaceful moments... This episode is for you. In this raw and validating Quick Reset, Jane peels back the misunderstood layers of 'anxiety' to reveal something many ADHD mums live with daily — high-functioning hypervigilance. It's not just worry. It's a nervous system that never learned to feel safe. This is the episode to save and return to every time you feel like you can’t switch off, even when the house is quiet and the kids are fine. It’s not just stress. It’s survival mode — and it’s unlearnable. 🧷 What We Cover: The difference between anxiety and hypervigilance Why so many late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic women live in a bracing state How childhood emotional mismatch (not just trauma) conditions us to constantly scan The link between people-pleasing, masking, and chronic nervous system activation What hypervigilance looks like in motherhood (especially if your child is impulsive or unsafe) Three practical tools to start calming your system today — no spa day required 🔑 Key Takeaway:You didn’t get this way by accident. Your body learned to brace because safety wasn’t a given. But it can unlearn. Regulation isn’t a reward — it’s your right. 🔗 Resources & Links:• Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group• More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop 🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing. SCHOOL MINI SERIES: S1 E41: Camouflaging ADHD + Autistic Traits in Girls with Millie Carr | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E2: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E3: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast 🎧 Listen NowIf you’ve ever left a meeting wondering what just happened – or held back tears while playing nice just to get a referral – this one’s for you. Hit play. Share it with a friend who’s fighting the same fight. TOPICS COVERED:Hypervigilance vs anxiety, ADHD shutdown, chronic stress, trauma responses, parenting neurodivergent kids, sensory overwhelm, people-pleasing, masking, emotional dysregulation, nervous system regulation, emotional safety, ADHD and trauma, survival mode, ADHD parenting tools, quick nervous system resets, late-diagnosed ADHD, mum burnout recovery, high-functioning anxiety, emotional masking in women, calm nervous system tips, ADHD mental health, trauma-informed ADHD strategies, somatic safety, ADHD nervous system healing, gentle parenting for ND families.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

10. QUICK RESET: Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?
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20 min
9 Jun

9. SCHOOL SERIES: IEP Meetings Are Broken — Here’s What to Say Instead

You walk into a school meeting hoping for support—and walk out feeling like the unreasonable parent again. In this no-fluff episode, Jane is joined by returning guest and neuroaffirming educator Millie Carr to rip the curtain off how Individual Education Plans (IEPs) are actually playing out in real classrooms. From broken communication and missing documentation to defensive staff and performative inclusion policies, this episode is a sharp, validating look at what’s really happening behind the school gate. If you’ve ever been told, ‘we can’t do that for everyone’, ‘they seem fine’, or your child’s support plan was ignored by day one of term—this one will make you feel less alone, and a hell of a lot more prepared. 💡 What We Cover: Why teachers often get defensive in IEP meetings (and how to work around it) The myth of “equal treatment” vs the reality of legal equity in education What to say when schools refuse an adjustment because ‘it’s not fair to others’ The emotional toll of feeling dismissed—and how to stay focused in meetings What federal laws actually say about reasonable adjustments (and how to quote them) The serious issue of IEPs not being shared, read, or honoured—especially at the start of term Why parents must document everything—even if nothing changes Real consequences (or lack of) for schools that fail to follow inclusion policies What to prepare, bring, and track if you ever need to escalate or file a complaint Related Episodes: SCHOOL SERIES - When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Listen in Spotify | Listen in Apple Podcast SCHOOL SERIES - Burnout Starts in the Classroom — And Follows Them Home | Listen in Spotify | Listen in Apple Podcast SCHOOL SERIES: Your Child Isn’t ‘Acting Out’ — They’re Burning Out | Listen in Spotify | Listen in Apple Podcast Resources Mentioned: 🔗 To find out more about Millie Carr or purchase her books please click on her website or check out her IG 🔗 Sign our Change Petition here 🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here 🎧 Listener Questions please send here 🔗 Free Guides and Resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/ Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD) 👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au 📚 References & Further Reading Disability Standards for Education 2005Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government Disability Discrimination Act 1992View the full legislation on the Federal Register 🎧 Listen Now If you’ve ever sat through a 15-minute IEP meeting where nothing changed, or wondered how much louder you have to get before someone listens—this episode is your script, your validation, and your reminder: You’re not too much. The system is too underprepared. Hit play. Forward it to your child’s support coordinator. Save it for your next meeting. JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. Topics Covered  In This Episode: IEP meetings ADHD Australia, neurodivergent inclusion school, disability standards for education, equitable adjustments vs equal treatment, ADHD fidgets in class, schools ignoring support plans, teacher defensiveness IEP, NCCD and disability evidence, parent advocacy for neurodivergent kids, documenting school issues, escalation in school systems, broken inclusion plans, legal rights ADHD school, how to prepare for an IEP, fidget bans and discrimination, masking in the classroom, disability support Victoria education, Millie Carr ADHD, ADHD Mums podcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

9. SCHOOL SERIES: IEP Meetings Are Broken — Here’s What to Say Instead
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17 min
4 Jun

8. QUICK RESET: Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does

Why does getting support for your child feel like a full-time job… with no sick leave? In this solo episode, Jane dives into the exhausting, invisible labour of advocacy – and why neurodivergent mums are often left navigating broken systems without a map, a translator, or a break. From IEP meetings to GP appointments, this is the episode for every mum who’s ever stayed up till 2am writing an email that might just get ignored. If you’re tired of being dismissed, dismissed again, then blamed for being ‘too emotional’ about it – you are not the problem. This episode will help you do it without setting yourself on fire. 💡 What We Cover:• How to advocate for your child without it consuming your entire life• What to say when professionals dismiss you or minimise your concerns• Scripts to stay calm and assertive in tense school/NDIS/GP meetings• Energy-saving strategies for emotionally draining advocacy tasks• Balancing authenticity vs masking when you’re in ‘the system’• Why documentation (yes, again) is your best ally – and how to use it• Emotional resilience vs toxic positivity when you’re gaslit again• Building long-term allies in school and health systems – without losing your mind SCHOOL MINI SERIES: S1 E41: Camouflaging ADHD + Autistic Traits in Girls with Millie Carr | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E2: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E3: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast 🔗 Resources & Links:• Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group• More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop 🎧 Listen NowIf you’ve ever left a meeting wondering what just happened – or held back tears while playing nice just to get a referral – this one’s for you. Hit play. Share it with a friend who’s fighting the same fight. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:ADHD advocacy, neurodivergent parenting, school refusal, IEP meetings, masking and burnout, ADHD mums emotional load, advocating for your ADHD child, navigating NDIS, GP advocacy scripts, ADHD mental load, supporting neurodivergent kids in school, trauma-informed advocacy, inclusive education, ADHD documentation strategies, neuroaffirming parenting, advocacy burnout, parenting ADHD and autism, school system failures, emotional regulation in meetings, ADHD self-compassion, strength-based parenting, advocacy energy managementSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

8. QUICK RESET: Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does
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24 min
2 Jun

7. SCHOOL SERIES: The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say We Don’t See It

What happens when schools insist your child is fine - but everything in your gut says otherwise? In this powerful instalment of our school mini-series, Jane is joined again by Millie Carr - teacher, parent, and neurodivergent advocate - to unpack one of the most maddening experiences families face: being gaslit by educators who don’t “see” the struggle. If you’ve ever been told your child is “fine” at school while managing meltdowns, shutdowns, or burnout at home, this one will hit hard. Jane shares a deeply personal story of leaving a school that refused to acknowledge her daughter’s invisible needs - and Millie breaks down exactly why high-masking kids get overlooked, and what parents can do when they’re dismissed. Together, they explore: Why girls and high-masking kids are so often missed The damaging impact of visible vs invisible disability bias What to say in IEP meetings when schools won’t listen Why anxiety is often misdiagnosed when it’s really about unmet needs How PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) is misunderstood in schools—and what helps instead This episode will validate your fury, your heartbreak, and your instincts. You’re not imagining it. You’re not overreacting. And you’re not alone. Listen If: You’ve been told “we don’t see it” and felt dismissed Your child is different at school than at home—and no one believes you You’re exhausted from advocating and need to feel seen You want practical strategies for navigating resistant schools Other Episodes with Millie Carr S1 E41: Camouflaging ADHD + Autistic Traits in Girls with Millie Carr | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E2: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E3: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast Episode on PDA: S2E30: Could it be PDA? Exploring the signs and why it’s different from ODD with Prof Tony Attwood and Dr Michelle Garnett | Spotify | Apple Podcast 🔗 Resources & Links: 🔗 Sign our Change Petition here 🎧 Listener Questions please send here 🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here 🔗 ADHD Mums Free Guides and Resources here 📚 References & Further Reading Disability Standards for Education 2005Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government Disability Discrimination Act 1992View the full legislation on the Federal Register Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD) 👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. Topics Covered In This Episode:  Invisible disabilities, ADHD girls, autism masking, high masking, school gaslighting, inclusion in education, IEP meetings, neurodiversity in schools, Pathological Demand Avoidance, PDA strategies, school refusal, trauma-informed schools, advocating for neurodivergent kids, ADHD parenting, neurodivergent burnout, federal disability education law, ADHD girls dismissed, reasonable adjustments school, ADHD Mums podcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

7. SCHOOL SERIES: The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say We Don’t See It
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