He's been telling Americans how to fuck for 26 years, and he's still not done. Dan Savage reflects on his unlikely career and tells stories from his own sex life— including losing his virginity in a cosplay three-way with his brother's ex, falling in love with unattainable men, screwing up his son's "sex talk," coming out of the closet to his mother, and the gay priest who helped her understand him. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 to leave voicemail for Sex Lives.
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Two years and 115 episodes later, Sex Lives calls it quits. To figure out how to end things, host Maureen O'Connor invites her original co-hosts David Wallace-Wells and Allison P. Davis back into the studio to discuss breakup etiquette and stories from favorite Sex Lives guests and listeners. Dan Savage talks about the time he dumped a guy on Thanksgiving weekend. Ask a Clean Person's Jolie Kerr ponders an ex who had mildew on his breath. A listener shares audio from a breakup announced on Facebook Live. Alyssa Shelasky tells the heartbreaking story of an ex who haunts her. Engadget's Chris Trout offers one last bon mot.Thank you for listening to Sex Lives! And for sharing your stories with us. Though I disagree with cowardly breakup ballad "Tell Me On a Sunday," you are free to listen to this podcast in a park that's covered in trees, in a zoo with chimpanzees, on any day you please. And since the Sex Lives team still works at New York Magazine, you can always subscribe to that. &lt;3 Maureen
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It's Not You. It's Us.

Linda Rosenkrantz was an art-world 'it' girl when, in the summer of 1965, she started carrying a reel-to-reel tape recorder everywhere she went, recording conversations at the beach, during parties, and after S&amp;M hookups with New York City's wildest men. Those tapes turned into her lightning-rod novel Talk in 1968— the same year that New York Magazine launched. (And devoted a spread to the bikini-clad Linda.) Fifty years later, Rosenkrantz revisits her memories of that summer— and plays never-before-heard audio from the original tapes. With Maureen O'Connor. 
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Sex in the Summer of '65

Alyssa Shelasky returns with an update on life as a mom who used an anonymous sperm donor to have a baby: One year later, she isn't single, anymore. Alyssa is house-hunting with the boyfriend her daughter calls "Daddy." (Not that anyone was prepared for the time she screamed "Dada!" during a silent moment in front of a crowd.) Also up for discussion: the delicate process of blending families, falling in love fast, and learning how to have sex with her bra on. (Breastfeeding changed everything.) With Maureen O'Connor.
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The Day Her Baby Called Her Boyfriend 'Dad'

As a teenager in Louisiana, Myisha Battle learned about sex from textbooks censored with Sharpie markers. Today, she's a San Francisco-based sex coach dedicated to helping other women orgasm— and to squirt, which is an ability Myisha personally hones with pilates. Myisha explains her job, fields calls from Sex Lives listeners, and explains the wide world of orgasm in ways that confuse and shock host Maureen O'Connor.
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Diary of a Sex Coach

In the horny imaginations of Harry Potter super-fans, Professor Snape is a BDSM sex god and Hermione Granger is a squirter. So say Potterotica hosts Allie LeFevere, Lyndsay Rush, and Danny Chapman, who explore the mind-bending universe of Harry Potter erotica every week— complete with dramatic readings. They explain which magic spells are the best for sex; why nobody fantasizes about Ron Weasley; and how a tech-savvy grandmother became the steamiest Potterotica writer on the web. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 to leave voicemail for Sex Lives.
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Accio Jizzrag! All About Harry Potter Erotica

Dan Savage's Sex Life

Gay marriage has moved to the mainstream, but has wedding culture followed? What parts of wedding culture are worth keeping, anyway? Sex Lives assembles a panel of gay writers to discuss their personal experiences navigating the sexual politics and social minefields of getting hitched. Bon Appetit's Kurt Soller recalls debating which boyfriend should propose. Vocativ's Ben Reininga wonders whether his proposal was just a DTR. And Curve Magazine's Marcie Bianco explains why she cut to the chase and eloped— and why she announced it on Facebook before calling her mother. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 to weigh in.
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All the Feels About Gay Weddings

Does dating suck because you’re awkward, or are you awkward because it’s a date? Ty Tashiro, psychologist and author of Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome, explains why steeling yourself and weathering the first five minutes of awkwardness is usually worth it. “Don’t be a wallflower,” he says, meaning it literally: research shows that location is a powerful predictor of social success. But what if our love lives need awkwardness? Host Maureen O’Connor wonders if awkwardness, coded differently, is the very definition of romance. Call 646-494-3590 with cringeworthy meet-cutes and awkward sex stories. 
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Why Dating Is So Damn Awkward

Jo Piazza was working as a travel editor when she met a man, married him— and spent the next year traveling to dozens of countries together, asking how marriage works in each place. She visits Sex Lives to revisit what she learned from women in Chile, Israel, Tanzania, India, France, Denmark, and beyond— and why, after discovering that she had a genetic mutation associated with muscular dystrophy, she climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro with her husband. (And competed in a rare Finnish sport called "wife-carrying.") Piazza's book, "How to be Married: What I Learned from Real Women on Five Continents About Surviving My First (Really Hard) Year of Marriage," is in bookstores now. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 with your thoughts.
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How to Be Married

A listener calls Sex Lives with a harrowing story about accidentally destroying her husband's penis with Lysol, and Maureen enlists Ask a Clean Person columnist Jolie Kerr to help her sort out the ensuing mess. Also up for discussion: sex stains, masturbation messes, sexual etiquette for houseguests, and a theory about why Oscar the Grouch would make a great husband? To leave a voice message for Sex Lives, call 646-494-3590.
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The Dangers of a Too-Clean Dick

Yes, it's a thing. Brian J. Moylan reports from the wild world of cosmetic procedures for male sex organs, starting with the time he cryonically froze his penis. (The shrinkage was intense.) He also introduces us to the growing field of "anal rejuvenation," which includes laser therapy, plastic surgery, Botox, bleaching, tightening, and loosening. All of which raises the question: What makes a butthole beautiful, anyway? Call 646-494-3590 to weigh in with a voice message.
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Botox for Buttholes

E.J. Dickson, who last visited Sex Lives while pregnant, returns with her two-month-old baby in tow. She recounts taking an Uber to the hospital while her water was breaking, and feeling her uterus lifted out of her body during the C-section. Demanding a shot of whiskey after returning from the hospital, and giving up on breastfeeding. Watching her son be circumcised by a rabbi, and then tossing his foreskin out with the trash. Motherhood is wild. Call 646-494-3590 to leave voicemail for Sex Lives.
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Is it OK to Take an Uber While Giving Birth?

Where is the best place in America to fall in love? When Cosmopolitan asked Jada Yuan to find out, she flew to six wildly different locales (and her hometown of New York) to look for love in every damn place. She came away exhausted—and more optimistic than ever. From the small-town romantics of South Carolina, to the shirtless male models of Los Angeles, to the kinky dairy farmers of South Dakota, to making out in cars in Detroit, these are her stories. Leave a voicemail about your hometown’s dating scene by calling 646-494-3590.
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The Dating Tour of America

Ella Dawson has herpes, and talking about it is sort of her thing. She writes herpes-themed erotica; she gave a TED talk about herpes; she celebrates the day she was diagnosed with herpes; and her activism on sexually-transmitted diseases earned praise from Hillary Clinton. All this, and she's only had two outbreaks— which is a pretty standard experience. Ella gets real about dating with herpes, enjoying unprotected sex, and getting her sexual education from Harry Potter fan fiction. And before you jump to judgment, remember: 2 in 3 of you have the same type of herpes that Ella has. (She has oral herpes on her genitals. Yes, it can happen.) And 1 in 5 of you has the other kind. (Ella knows a woman who gets genital herpes on her elbow.) Call 646-494-3590 to leave a voicemail for Sex Lives.
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HERPES!!!

Rachel Kramer-Bussel was a law student in the late '90s when an erotic fantasy about Monica Lewinsky changed her life— by inspiring her to drop everything and pursue a career in erotic literature. Today, Kramer-Bussel has written or edited more than erotica books, including the annual Best Women's Erotica of the Year anthology. With a new volume in stores, Rachel visits Sex Lives to talk about her weirdest fantasies; what she's learned from two decades in the erotica business; and the terrors of Donald Trump erotica. Call 646-494-3590 with your thoughts.
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She Quit Law School to Write Erotica

Host Maureen O'Connor tries VR porn for the first time and is horrified. She's not the only one— the technical demands of the new medium has male performers struggling to stay turned on, too. But here's the weirdest part: VR porn fans aren't that into the hardcore stuff. They just want to cuddle with their virtual porn-star girlfriends. Vocativ senior staff writer Tracy Clark-Flory explains how virtual reality is changing the very nature of pornography. Call 646-494-3590 to join the conversation. 
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Virtual Reality Porn Is Killing Boners

Cindy Gallop dates younger men— which is how she discovered that younger men seem to have received their sexual educations from porn. To balance the myths of hardcore porn with reality, she founded Make Love Not Porn, a video sharing network that is "pro-sex, pro-porn, pro-knowing the difference." As in, a social media network where people show themselves having sex... naturally. Cindy and Make Love Not Porn's chief curator, Sarah Beall, invited Sex Lives to Cindy's Manhattan apartment to explain their company, their crusade, and the joys of video voyeurism. With Maureen O'Connor.
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The Facebook of Sex

“Every relationship can be based on love, even if it lasts only fifteen minutes.” That’s one of the beliefs that drove a movement to reinvent America’s understanding of sex, civic responsibility, and social welfare in the 1980s, says David France, director of AIDS activism documentary How to Survive a Plague.With a new era of activism emerging today, France revisits the hope and heartbreak of his youth during the AIDS crisis— and offers lessons from his generation’s hard-won victories. With Maureen O’Connor.How to Survive a Plague will be screened at New York’s IFC Center on President’s Day, followed by a Q&amp;A with David France. Visit IFCCenter.com for details. Questions, comments, complaints? Leave voicemail for Sex Lives at 646-494-3590.
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The Invention of Safe Sex

"You can't play it cool on Snapchat," says Priscilla Pine. And that's why it's the best for flirting. The pseudonymous technology-first sex writer came on Sex Lives to explain the different flirtation techniques each app on your phone requires— and the surreptitious information you can glean. Also up for discussion: when to save sex for the morning after; when to have sex before the date; the art of the Instagram "deep like"; and what technology can teach us about love— like the side-eye emoji, which on Snapchat describes a one-way relationship. Are you the side-eye in your relationship? What are your all-time digital flirtation best-hits? Call 646-494-3590 with your stories.
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How to Flirt on Snapchat (and Every Other App)

"I think it's a myth that you can't be a little bit pregnant because I've been a little bit pregnant for about six years," says Andrea Syrtash, founder of the Pregnantish.com. She explains: to be "a little bit pregnant," or pregnant-ish, is to be in a perpetual state of pregnant anticipation— as in, going through fertility treatment. Her new website is about the trials, tribulations, and weird-ass sex you have when you switch from lovemaking to baby-making. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 with your stories.
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What It's Like to Be 'a Little Bit Pregnant'

L is the first letter of LGBTQ, but often remains misrepresented and on the fringe. This week, two generations of queer women discuss the state of the modern lesbian. Slate staff writer Christina Cauterucci, who is in her 20s, explains why her generation of gender-fluid queers often resists "lesbian." Slate's Double X co-host June Thomas, who is in her 50s, discusses the lesbian radicalism of her youth and its role in modern feminism. And both women agree on one thing: It can be damn hard to find new communities of queer women, particularly when lesbian bars and bookstores struggle to stay open. So where are the lesbians? Why are we failing to see them? How much visibility is enough— and visible to whom? Call 646-494-3590 with your thoughts, and check out "The Lesbian Issue" on Slate. With Maureen O'Connor.
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Whither the Lesbian?

To honor the presidential inauguration, Sex Lives assembles a panel of politically thoughtful (and sexually perverse) minds to reflect on the sexual absurdity of Donald Trump and modern politics. Daily Beast senior editor Erin Gloria Ryan and Vocativ editorial director Ben Reininga consider: Do you believe Donald Trump's pee rumor? Would you pee on a president? Could a sloppy night with Mike Pence help to achieve world peace? Meanwhile, host Maureen O'Connor admits her boyfriend is registered as a Republican. Call 646-494-3590 with your thoughts.
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A Sloppy Night with Mike Pence

For decades, conventional and scientific wisdom held that pornography warped our understanding of sex, attraction, and love. But a new generation of scientists are unable to replicate those early findings. Why did porn stop bothering us? Have we become numb— or were earlier generations just paranoid? Science writer Daniel Engber explains those findings— and his own sojourns through the strange, sordid, and occasionally sublime world of extreme fetish porn. Sure, you're cool with run-of-the-mill porn— but what about cannibal porn? Quicksand porn? Why does that stuff exist, anyway? With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 with your stories and thoughts about porn— like how you came across the strangest porn, or hottest fetishes, of your life.
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Cannibals and Quicksand

Scott and Julie Rising have been leading parallel lives since birth. The fraternal twins were raised in Alaska. Julie was the tomboy star of her hockey team; Scott preferred musical theater. Each came out as gay after leaving Alaska. Now, with Scott living a thoroughly cosmopolitan life in New York, and Julie in red-state Idaho, the twins come together to discuss their divergent, twinned lives across cultural and gender divides. Call 646-494-3690 to weigh in. With Maureen O'Connor.
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Red State, Blue State, Gay Twins

"Coming out to my dad as an atheist was 100 times harder than coming out as gay." Before Christopher Trout became Engadget's executive editor and Computer Love columnist— before his career in gay porn and before he started building a genderqueer family of his own— he was the son of Methodist minister Rev. Dr. Steve Trout. A former Texas football star, Rev. Trout married his childhood sweetheart at age eighteen— and taught Sunday School sex-ed to his own son. With Christmas in the air, the pious father joins his blasphemous son for a conversation about sex, love, God, the rapture, and crazy fetishes that make them LOL. With Maureen O'Connor. Leave a voicemail for Sex Lives at 646-494-3590.
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Father, Son, and a Holy Reckoning

Every week, Sex Lives invites listeners to respond with their stories. This week, we listen— and call you back. Meet a left-handed man with a right-handed sex life, a mother whose natural childbirth triggered a sexual awakening, and a black man grappling with sexual racism from people who don’t know he’s black. Call 646-494-3590 to tell us more.
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The Most Wonderful Episode of the Year

At 40, Glynnis MacNicol realized she didn't want to be a mother, and didn't need a partner. And then she discovered newly exhilarating sexual and romantic freedom: Suddenly, she was traveling the world, entertaining— and rejecting— younger paramours, Parisian flirtations, and 22-year-old cowboys everywhere she went. Now 42, Glynnis is working on a memoir and stopped by Sex Lives to tell 32-year-old host Maureen O'Connor what the next decade of life could hold. Call 646-494-3590 with your thoughts.
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Sex and the Single 42-Year-Old Woman

In the seventh month of her pregnancy, E.J. Dickson found herself with the libido of a teenage boy— including a desire to watch hardcore pornography, the kind of terrifying gang-bangs she'd never seen or sought before. Before her pregnancy, E.J. was a journalist who wrote about sex. Then, mid-pregnancy, she lost her job, reinvented, and became an editor at Romper, a parenting site for millennials. E.J. discusses her new career, her new boobs, pregnant masturbation, and fighting strangers who don't give her a seat on the subway. Call 646-494-3590 to leave voicemail for Sex Lives and host Maureen O'Connor.
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Hardcore Porn and the Pregnant Woman

Sometimes, love is a private feeling between two people. Other times, it's a declaration from the rooftops, a wedding announcement, or a public kiss. For the last three years Andrea Silenzi has been broadcasting her love life— and disasters— on her podcast Why Oh Why. She recorded her first date with her most recent boyfriend, as well as fights and their heartbreaking split. But she also blurs the truth— taking a cue from inspired-by-life novelists, she blends fact with fiction and invites actors to interact with real-life guests. Silenzi discusses honesty, deception, memoir, heartbreak, and why Donald Trump ruined her orgasms. Meanwhile, host Maureen O'Connor argues that sexual truthfulness is extra important post-Trump. Call 646-494-3590 to weigh in.
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How Do You Know It's Real?

Who's coming to Thanksgiving? For Christopher Trout, the list includes his father, a preacher from rural Texas; his boyfriend, a cop he met on Grindr; his baby mama, a ciswoman to whom he donated sperm; his baby papa, a transman with whom he once hooked up; and his mom. Trout, who is Engadget's executive editor, returns to Sex Lives to discuss family, fertility, why discovering his sexuality meant losing his faith, and how he found peace inside a porn star's anus. With Maureen O'Connor. Leave a voicemail for Sex Lives by calling 646-494-3590.
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Gay Son of a Preacher Man, and His Gender-Bending Family

Mona Chalabi first saw her vulva while peering into a hand mirror at a labiaplasty surgeon's office; thanks to filmmaker Mae Ryan—the other half of The Guardian’s “Vagina Dispatches” docs-series team—we get to see Mona seeing it, too. In this week’s episode of Sex Lives, Mona and Mae share stories from their vulva adventures, including the time they underwent brain scans while watching porn, the time they met a doctor who believes menstruation is a social construct, and the time they called Mona's gynecologist mother for a heart-to-heart. Plus, the harrowing tale of how Mona lost her virginity in a childhood accident with a seesaw. Call 646-494-2590 to leave a voicemail about vaginas, vulvae, sex ed, seesaws, or whatever else is on your mind.
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Take a Look at My Vag

Could you tell a $10,000 fake penis from the real thing? Karley Sciortino couldn't. For Vice show "Slutever," Sciortino fucked a male sex doll; rented a cuddle-boyfriend in Japan; observed medical sexual surrogacy; and helped a dominatrix kidnap an alarmingly handsome client. (True story: last time Karley did that, she was arrested.) Sciortino discusses her sexual experiments— and what still scares her— with Sex Lives host Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-2590 with questions, opinions, and your own stories.
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Testing a Male Sex Doll

In the flesh, they're the same as every other dick. But in the cultural imagination, black penises are fetishized, feared, commodified, obsessed over, and separated from the humanity of those they belong to. New York Times critic-at-large Wesley Morris discusses his essay "Last Taboo: Why Pop Culture Can't Handle Black Male Sexuality," and what it's like to be a gay black man navigating a world that can't stop talking about his dick. Call 646-494-3590 to weigh in. With Maureen O'Connor.
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You Don't Know Dick

Former Sex Lives co-host Allison P. Davis— now a staff writer at The Ringer— returns to deliver a master class on manipulating love interests by text message. Specifically, the exquisite cruelty of "read receipts," the pitfalls of flirting by GIF, and a little-discussed side effect of ghosting: haunting. Tell us your opinion by calling 646-494-3590. With Maureen O'Connor.
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The Cold, Denying Bitch's Guide to Texting

Sex Lives visits downtown restaurant New York Sushi Ko to snack on sea urchin and discuss the perils of— and secret tricks for— dining with dates. And could we ever date a vegan? Grub Street’s Sierra Tishgart recalls the time she forced a date to eat raw tripe. Sushi Ko chef John Daley gets real about hooking up with customers. (Like the woman who ditched her date to bang him in the kitchen.) With Maureen O’Connor.
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The Grossest Things We Ate For Love

Eddie Huang wrote a memoir about getting engaged-- but by the time Double Cup Love came out, he was single again. On a break from filming his TV show Huang's World, Eddie invited Sex Lives into his Brooklyn apartment for a discussion of race, sex, love, death, learning about masturbation from Ghostface Killah, and the time he ate tuna semen. With Maureen O'Connor.
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Eddie Huang's Sex Life

Ok, maybe a few guys, but most of you are lying to yourselves, says Dr. Emily Morse. After eleven years of educating listeners on her Sex With Emily podcast, Morse discusses her own sexual education, discovering orgasm, what to do when an unnecessary magnum slips off inside your cooch, why she walks around with weighted balls in her cooch, and why Sex Lives host Maureen O'Connor is wrong about lube. (Maureen hates lube.) Call 646-494-3590 to leave a voicemail for Sex Lives.
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Nobody Needs a Magnum Condom

Dr. Chris Donaghue was working as a therapist, and he was bored. So he switched to sex therapy-- and discovered his own queer identity. Since then he's hosted two reality shows, written two books, and had sex with people of all genders. But his most radical sexual choice? Prioritizing masturbation. During a break at New York's Sexual Health Expo, Dr. Chris explains how to radicalize your masturbatory life, breaking free from gender binaries, and why he's so over meeting hookups at bars. Oh, and he totally spoils the ending of gay dating show "Finding Prince Charming." With Maureen O'Connor.
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Can Masturbation Be a Radical Act?

New York sex writer Alana Massey felt a little crazy when she bought a house without a family to put in it— and 100 miles away from her boyfriend. During a visit back to the city, she ruminated on the romance of real estate; how open spaces affect the way you fuck; how she found love on a dating app; and why they'd rather live further apart.
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Is Sex Better When You Own a House?

French GQ sex columnist Maia Mazaurette was Paris's answer to Carrie Bradshaw - until she came to New York, joined Tinder, and fell in love with an American. Two years later, she compares French and American attitudes towards sex, infidelity, love, and flirtation. Oh, and the French word for "French kiss"? Something about rolling tongue-shovels. Gross. With Maureen O'Connor.
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Are the French Better at Sex?

What happens when friendship and flirtation conflict? Two pairs of female BFFs discuss their overlapping love lives; what to do when you catch someone else's partner cheating; and how to stay friends with a friend who falls in love with your ex (or a friend who's just banging your ex). Vogue sex columnist Karley Sciortino and her bestie, the writer Jenna Sauers, join New York Magazine sex columnist Maureen O'Connor and her bestie Juliet Thompson.
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Can I Sleep with My BFF's Ex?

Gossip columnist Rob Shuter - who oversaw J.Lo and Jessica Simpson at their peaks - talks celebrity penis size, Kim Kardashian body hair, and what on earth is Bieber's game? With Maureen O'Connor.
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How Celebrities Fake Love

In her mid-twenties, Katie Heaney wrote "Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date," a memoir about the frustrations of a millennial who is willing, but unable, to find a boyfriend. Today, Katie is in a serious relationship - with a woman. She joins host Maureen O'Connor to discuss discovering her sexuality as an adult, and reconciling her well-documented past with a new reality.
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Dating Sucked. Then She Tried Women.

To bid farewell to her co-host David Wallace-Wells, Maureen interrogates his wife Risa Needleman about being with one man since age nineteen, his-and-hers manbuns, getting married on a 24-hour whim, and sharing deodorant, email passwords, and a toothbrush. Departed co-host Allison P. Davis, now of The Ringer, returns to weigh in on the great shared-toothbrush debate. Plus, Risa discusses her relationship with Genesis P-Orridge, an artist who got plastic surgery and underwent behavior modification to be exactly the same as their girlfriend.
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The Couple That Shares a Toothbrush

Jennifer Kaplan and Lindsey Rupp, hosts of Bloomberg's Material World podcast, give a guided tour of America's $15 billion sex toy industry-- and gender politics, free-speech battles, and consumer choices that shape it. With Maureen O'Connor.
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Who's Afraid of Sex Toys?

When it comes to penis size, some men will show their full potential from the start, while others have the ability to grow to unexpected heights. Could the same be true for falling in love? Vocativ deputy editor Erin Gloria Ryan and NYMag.com writer Jason Chen discuss men who grow better with age, how "benching" became the new "ghosting," and the wisdom (or cruelty) of romantic holding patterns. With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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Are You a Grower or Show-er in Love?

Recording from Phildelphia during the DNC, New York Magazine's Rembert Browne joins Maureen O'Connor for a discussion of political romance, sexual innuendo at both conventions, and a strange new right-wing meme about cuckolding.
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Is Billary the Greatest Romance of Our Times?

Have the rules of meet-cute engagement changed? Vogue sex columnist Karley Sciortino argues that, in the age of Tinder, hitting on strangers at bars is crazier than an internet-enhanced hookup. Crazier, even, than the time she thought about asking her gynecologist on a date. With Maureen O'Connor.
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Can You Ask Your Gynecologist on a Date?

Science of Us's Drake Baer explains a series of scientific studies that calculate what makes a dating market good or painful, and how they explain why dating in New York is so wretched. Comedian Mike Blejer chimes in with tales of "turbo-dating" in New York, a city where going on multiple dates a night every night if the week is not only possible but, for some, the norm. With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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Is Dating in New York Actually That Bad?

This week: a special report from a $400-per-couple Hamptons sex party, marketed to "the world's sexual elite." (And their Russian sugar babies.) Harper's Bazaar writer Jenna Sauers was in attendance, and explains who made the guest list, how much sex they had, and how to play it cool when an elderly financier is going down on his wife right in front of you.
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The Hamptons Had an Orgy

Hi Sex Lives listeners - due to some holiday-related scheduling issues, this week's show will come out a bit later this afternoon, instead of our normal morning release. Please check the feed again after 2pm today (Thursday July 7th, 2016) for our new episode. Apologies for the delay!
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A Quick Programming Note!

After writing a column about figuring out the optimal number of premarital sex partners, The Cut's Mandy Stadtmiller discusses all the metrics she applies to her life - her sex life, her sobriety, her career, her relationships. But is sex quantifiable? What "counts" as sex, and why do we feel so compelled to count it, anyway? With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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The Sexual Self-Inventory

It's real, real weird, and pretty amazing, and this week we talk to Nona Willis Aronowitz about the whole wide world of it - from indie audio porn on Reddit's Gone Wild Audio subreddit to PornHub's new "described video" function. (We also interview PornHub about just how and why they went about narrating Kim Kardashian's six tape). With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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Porn for the Blind

This week, we interview Moira Weigel, the author of "Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating," about how crazily recent - and purely American - the whole idea of dating is, why we still talk about it basically like it's the 1950s, and when it got to be so damn much work. (Blame the working-class woman who invented dating in 1896.) Oh, also about the word your grandmother used instead of "motorboating." With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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The Woman Who Invented Dating

Is the most rational approach to marriage an arrangement? Guardian data editor Mona Chalabi parses the data on how sex changes over the course of a long-term relationship-- and presents the case for arranged marriages, while Rich Juzwiak presents the case for perpetual versatility. With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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The Case for Arranged Marriage

Or so says Amy Rose Spiegel, who discusses her sexual memoir, Action: A Book About Sex, as well as slut phases, trampages, and which founding father she'd most like to fuck (Dolly Madison was a lucky lady). Plus, listener feedback about female orgasm and the agony of a hair-trigger gag reflex. With Maureen O'Connor.
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The Best Lay in New York Lives in the Trump Tower

This week, a live episode, taped as part of the Vulture festival, in which we go deep into the dating and sex life of Phoebe Robinson of 2 Dope Queens (among many many other comic endeavors). With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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Dating While Semi-Famous And/Or Black

This week, we interview the sex- and romance-writer Alyssa Shelasky, maven of New York Magazine’s hugely popular sex diaries, who explains how that sausage gets made; how dreamy the Lebanese-American basketball player who donated his splooge to her sounded when she heard his voice; and also how she schedules make-out time in the one-bedroom apartment she shares with her eight-month-old. With Maureen O’Connor and David Wallace-Wells
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Falling in Love With Your Anonymous Sperm Donor

It's the ultimate sign of straight masculinity: the ability to get a woman off. So what happens when he fails? Dr. Ian Kerner, author of "She Comes First," and Vanessa Marin, who wrote "Her Orgasm Is Not About You," debate the relative importance of female orgasm in straight sex acts. How important is the orgasm gap? Who is responsible for fixing it? And are we supposed to be squirting now?! With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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Does She Have to Orgasm Every Time?

Should your boyfriend be your best friend? Are you more popular single, or coupled? Is your social life preventing you from settling down? Alana Massey, columnist at The Cut, explains why her boyfriend isn't her best friend, but her cat is. (Even though her boyfriend saved her life, and her cat's life, from near-death in a fire.) Plus: a man who accidentally became an extra in a pornographic orgy tells his amazing tale. With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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Is My Love Life Ruining My Social Life?

This week, we talk to feature film directors Joey Kuhn and Pamela Romanowsky about all the weirdness of directing sex scenes on screen, especially in an age of ubiquitous porn, why most movie sex is so so so bad, and what makes for an actually-memorable sex scene (like in, um, Cruel Intentions). With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells
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How You Choreograph an Awkward Circle Jerk

This week, everything you ever wanted to know about sex dreams: we talk to the man behind a dream database and take calls from listeners wondering what to make of that dream where they found their ex's dick attached to another man (for instance). With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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That Time I Dreamt I Blew My Dad

This week we're joined by Mandy Stadtmiller (immediately-legendary author of "Move Over Butt Stuff, Hand Jobs Are Back") and Ben Reininga of Vocativ to give the world's least-respected sex act something like its proper due. With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells
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Consider the Handjob

Should you be able to register a breakup, like a wedding? Who keeps thefriends? Who keeps the cat? This week Rich Juzwiak helps us break down,from every possible angle, the awful mess of ending things. With MaureenO¹Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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What's the Shittiest Part About Breaking Up?

Anna Davies got pregnant during a foreign fling on her "adult gap year" of world travel-- which is just the beginning of her Tinder-happy version of "Eat, Pray, Love." Nearly a year after her daughter's birth, the writer reflects on the wild journey that got here there-- including the surprising joys of online dating in her third trimester. Also up for discussion: the most popular professions on Tinder, the relative sexiness of firemen, and the world's most poorly deployed SnapChat dick pic.
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Using Tinder in the Third Trimester

This week we bid a tearful adieu to co-host Allison Davis, which we do mostly by talking about dong shots (with the woman behind the Critique My Dick Pick Tumblr) and taking a slew of listener voicemails. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells
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Goodbye, Allison; Hello, Dick Picks!

This week, we talk to data guru Mona Chalabi about just how much noisepeople actually make during sex, when it's normal to lose one'svirginity, and a ton of other number-crunchy subjects. Also: when is theoptimal time of day to fuck? With Maureen O¹Connor and DavidWallace-Wells. 
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How Loud Is Unusually Loud?

Carolyn Yates joins us to talk about Autostraddle's massive recent data analysis, which found period sex to be "the ultimate lesbian sexual indicator," among many other things. We also talk about a new study about just when you hit your sexual peak, and when you're happiest in a relationship (turns out, at frustratingly different ages). With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells
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What Can't Period Sex Tell You About Someone's Sex Life?

This week we grill cleanup icon Jolie Kerr (of “Ask a Clean Person”) about how to wash a sex toy, launder semen stains, slyly coverup an accident in bed, and actually a lot more. Also, the word horny: a historical debate. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.
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Is Clean Sex Possible (or Desirable)?

This week, Stanford psychologist Lauren Howe explains why some people take break-ups brutally and others really blithely—it actually has nothing to do with the breakup, or the relationship, and everything to do with the person. We also debate the recent "news" about Hitler's micro-penis, and just how much of history it can explain (very little!). With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.
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How a Break-Up Can Ruin You

Chris Trout has seen the future of sex and it is... trippy. Engadget's executive editor and #ComputerLove columnist describes his adventures with virtual sex, including a virtual stroll up a porn star's anus and virtual sex with himself. Meanwhile, 70 percent of women admit to wanting to bone their personal trainers, but is the gym a good place for hookups? And finally, confessions from a caller who masturbates in public. A lot. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.
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Our Sex Robot Future (And How One Man Used It To F*** Himself)

We debate the question at length with Brian Sloan, the veteran of the World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Contest who recently ran a much less attractive sequel with balls. We also debate quarterback Russell Wilson’s reliance on Bing to compliment the girlfriend he does not have sex with, and a female listener's voicemail about orgasming when she pees. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells
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Can Balls Be Beautiful?

Amber Rose invented an emoji protocol for discussing butt play-- but is Kanye's relentless slut-shaming of his ex reason enough for her to butt-shame him? Meanwhile Nicholas Tana, director of masturbation documentary "Sticky: A (Self) Love Story," offers a cultural history of masturbatory shame-- and explains why Pee Wee Herman is an American hero. And finally, a challenge: Can you dream up a pornographic idea so depraved that it breaks Rule 34 of the internet? We can.
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A New Emoji for Butt Play

Also, why are we so much more comfortable with public sex than public masturbation? We ask these and many other sex-etiquette questions to etiquette guru Mallory Ortberg (aka Dear Prudence). With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor and David Wallace-Wells
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Where (and When) Is It OK to Jerk Off In Public?

Last year, over the holidays, the number of searches for incest-themed videos on Pornhub and its competitors spiked dramatically, hundreds of percent in a single month, and only continued to grow all through 2015. So…what the f**k is that about? We asked Jesse Bering, author of "Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us." We also talked about other data, just released this month by PornHub, surfacing a whole new set of super-interesting proclivities (like that the Italians are really into foot fetish stuff). With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.
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THE INCREDIBLE RISE OF INCEST PORN

This week we talk with Tristan Taormino about just what kids learn from PornHub—and how some sexually-explicit (and maybe even hot) video could make its way into American classrooms. Plus: Why are American women so unbelievably into furniture makers these days? And: Voicemails from listeners about the scourge of sex droughts.With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells
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A Sex Ed Curriculum Built Out of Porn

This week, a deep-dive into dirty voicemails (and return to racism in sexual preference, among other long-time obsessions). With Allison P. Davis and Maureen O'Connor.
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Your Penis is Disgusting

This week, a long talk with Kevin Allison, host of the expansive sex-heavy storytelling podcast Risk, about kink, the retreating horizon of outre sex, and whether having a thing for Asian guys is ok. Also, a new study suggests evolutionary biologists have spent way too much time thinking about dick. Probably true! With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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Finally Paying Attention to Vagina Size

This week, we interview, at length, Lisa Hoehn—actually a genuine and full-time professional Tinder Cyrano. We also discuss a new paper arguing that women like being sexually objectified, so long as its by loving partners. Which is a finding that does not surprise Maureen in the least. And voicemails! With Maureen O’Connor and David Wallace-Wells.
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Everything You Ever Wanted to Ask An Online Dating Ghostwriter

This week we interview podcast superstars Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson about their project to interview all the men they’ve slept with, High Fidelity style. We also talk about the people using airbnb as a hook-up app (and whether this is what the company had in mind all along). With Allison P. Davis and David Wallace-Wells.
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Guys We F*****d

This week, we talk to Alexa Tsoulis-Reay, who's spent the last year interviewing men who've castrated themselves to "cure" their "sex addiction," women in relationships with their fathers, men in love with horses, and many other human outliers for her "What It's Like" series. We also check back in with William Lloyd, the man who took an Internet stand against cunnilingus. With Allison P. David, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.
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What Drives Someone to Castration?

And we go super deep on it, talking at length with Debra Pascali-Bonaro, who made a whole documentary about it (you may never forget these clips). We also speak about orgasms that make you deaf, with Sophie Saint Thomas, who speaks from experience, and debate what euphemisms for vagina a man can actually safely use. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.
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Orgasmic Childbirth Is A Thing

It's the closest you can get to an orgy with just two people-- but has 69ing gone out of style? Also up for discussion: the joys of lazy sex, the terrors of vagina-spanking, controversial views on lubricants, and the most psychotic ex-boyfriends of all time, as ranked by Jennifer Wright, author of It Ended Badly: 13 of the Worst Breakups in History.
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Whatever Happened to the 69?

We’re joined by “Sylvia,” the anonymous creator of the blog “How to Make Me Come,” which is now a podcast as well. She tells us about the impetus to create an online compendium of real women sharing exact instructions for how to get them off, as well as her hopes that the project will help people get over their eternal fear of being honest about sex. Plus: what’s the deal with men who refuse to go down on women? With David Wallace-Wells, Maureen O’Connor, and Allison Davis.
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How to Make Me Come Again

You know that thing when you go to a party and nobody talks to you? The same can happen at orgies. Special guest Anna Pulley explains the agony of awkward orgy-going and how to troubleshoot it. Meanwhile, a new 3-D sex movie features a history-making cumshot. And why does Justin Bieber call his penis "she"? With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.
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How to Be Popular at an Orgy

Now that Neil Strauss and Tucker Max have found feminism (and grappled with sex addiction) is the age of pickup artistry dead? Or are gender, sex, and love dead -- as a new generation of agender, asexual, and aromantic college activists argue? And what's up with this Zola thing on Twitter? With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, David Wallace-Wells, and guest Tim Murphy.
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All Pickup Artists Are Now Male Feminists

Will anything ever unseat the eggplant emoji as the ideal cartoon dong? And with all the R&amp;D money at emoji HQ, can’t they do better than a taco for vagina? We also talk about Nantucket’s amazing history of whaling-industry-era dildos and just how much of a capital offense it is when an ex keeps using your Netflix password. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells
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HOT DOG VS. EGGPLANT VS. WHALE-BONE DILDO

This week, we talk about the odd phenomenon of men trying to re-stretch their circumcised foreskins, whether post-sex blues says more about the fucking or more about you (it’s you!) and about how millenials (including Allison!) aggressively edit their social-media networks after a breakup. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells.
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Why Rihanna Gets Depressed After Sex

This week, Maureen offers what she swears is the absolute last and final word on dating apps (her mantra: the tech doesn’t matter, just the people). We also discuss a new study about the way in which sexual types may be the result of early relationships actually imprint themselves on us as permanent preferences (offering an explanation for why everybody you’ve ever dated looks exactly the same, if that happens to be the case). And we applaud a recent spate of super-hot interracial lesbian sex on television. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells 
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Why Do I Still Fantasize About My First Boyfriend?

Is dating a lopsided numbers game in which women are screwed? We talk to Jon Birger, author of Dateonomics (who says, yes, totally). We also debate when in a relationship the sex is best (wondering why it takes people so long to figure out how to fuck each other properly) and whether it's possible to extract yourselves from a friends-with-benefits situation without kissing friendship goodbye. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells
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Peak Sexual Satisfaction

In this episode, we go long with Sex Myth author Rachel Hills, who argues that sex-soaked culture has given us sexual standards that literally no one’s sex life matches up with. With Maureen O’Connor and David Wallace-Wells.  
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Is Absolutely Everyone Sexually Frustrated?

Is monogamy over? A new Time magazine story says it should be, and we wonder just how much influence Dan Savage has had on our sex lives. We also discuss the (reliable) glories of the pull-out method, and how relationships change birth-control strategies. And: What an ENFP discovered about Myers-Briggs dating (avoid INTJs!).
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What Can’t the Pullout Method Do?

When is the best season for boning? We debate the essay “Towards a Theory of Fall Fuckability" by Jamie Lauren Keiles. Also: a new study says the ideal dick for women is only barely bigger than average (Maureen and Allison disagree). And: we talk about Allison’s fantastic cultural history of the bionic cock. With Maureen O’Connor, Allison P. Davis, and David Wallace-Wells.
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The Cultural History of the Bionic Dong

This week, we go long on sexual stamina—how long is too long, how long is just right, and when did we start taking an egg-timer to bed? The answer: very recently! You know, about the time men started actually caring about women’s pleasure. We also talk about whether masturbation can ruin your dick (or vagina!) and a blog soliciting sex-instruction manuals from women. With Maureen O’Connor, Allison P. Davis, and David Wallace-Wells
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How to Make Me Come

How did Ashley Madison build a billion-dollar casual-sex site without actually arranging any actual casual sex? We discuss the company’s insane fembot army and the pathetic gullibility of 22 million male users. Also: a new study says people in relationships bone in the butt more often. With Maureen O’Connor, Allison P. Davis and David Wallace-Wells.
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ALL RELATIONSHIPS LEAD TO ANAL

A new “study” of sext-selfies makes the case that prettiness comes in all shapes and sizes (so long as the selfie, and the vagina, are well-lit). But how much can we trust this study, and how gross do we feel talking about ranking women’s bodies like this? We’ll also discuss Kevin Bacon’s crusade to get more penises into motion pictures, and some new data showing that relationships between sexters are actually stronger than more prudish texters.  With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells
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The World’s Most Beautiful Vagina

Maybe they’re not actually straight? We discuss a new book on the historyof clandestine same-sex coupling and a new dating-app-alarmism classic,“Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse.” With Maureen O’Connor, Rich Juzwiak,Jesse Singal, and David Wallace-Wells.
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Why, When, and How Straight Men Have Sex With Each Other

 It includes one with multiple holes in a single wall! Merely one of many amazing things we learn from talking to the man behind the new Museum of Sex history of hard-core and we go long on just how much sex goes on behind the scenes of the Bachelorette (and how this season finally broke the show's prudish code of sex etiquette).
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The Secret History of the Glory Hole

A team of scientists have determined universal penis beauty standards-- but do we agree with their findings? A heated debate about grooming, size, and male locker room culture follows. We also discuss a new study about race and online dating, and anthropological findings that suggest fewer than half of the world's cultures engage in romantic kissing. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and guest host Rich Juzwiak.
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What Makes a Penis Beautiful?

This week: First you fall in love, then you get naked-- but what if it was the other way around? Maureen learns how nudists flirt, and Allison interviews the stars of her favorite TV show, Dating Naked. Plus, a visit to the Hooters of dicks. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells. More at thecut.com and nymag.com.This episode is sponsored by Showtime's "Masters of Sex." The critically acclaimed series "Masters of Sex" returns Sunday. New episodes air on Sundays at 10/9 Central Time, only on Showtime.Panoply’s conducting a survey. Click here to fill it out: Panoply.fm/surveyBy filling it out you'll help Panoply make great podcasts about the thing you love, and things you didn't even know you loved.Panoply.fm/survey
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